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Sunday, September 05, 2004 Are You Casting Stones?
judg·men·tal adj. 1. Inclined to make judgments, especially moral or personal ones. Synonyms: condemnation, accusation, blame, censure, conviction, damnation, denouncement, denunciation, disapproval, reproach, reprobation, reproof, criticism, assumption, measurement, opinion, perception, discrimination, conclusion, conjecture, generalization. I've seen and experienced a lot in my life – many unspeakable horrors that I wish I could have been spared the experiences – but, overall, I've been a survivor! I've tried to develop some of the characteristics that, in my darkest times, were lacking in those around me . . . characteristics such as: compassion, unconditional acceptance, non-judgmental attitudes, and genuine caring and support. No one needs someone taking a “holier-than-thou” attitude simply because they've never found themselves in a similar situation. Sure, a society as a whole needs to have a fundamental core of morals, ethics and acceptable values that allow us to live in peace and harmony as a 'tribal-unit.' But, when we begin to over-impose our moralist belief systems onto other's situations without knowing all of the minutia, the baggage, and the history that brought them to that very place in time, we (whether intentionally or otherwise) are elevating ourselves to a superior role over the ones we are – dare I say it? – condemning, because their behavior doesn't fit nicely and neatly into our little “box-o-morals” that we have created for ourselves. I have tried to adopt a “live-and-let-live” attitude, as long as the other's behavior does not directly affect me in a seriously harmful, or otherwise damaging, way. Many of my readers know that my father is a Baptist minister – conservative to the nth degree. Perhaps my overly-accepting attitudes were first formed from mere rebellion but, over time, I learned to accept people simply for what they were – regardless of any label that society may have used to attempt to pigeon-hole them. My circle of friends and acquaintances are about as widely diverse as you could imagine. But, each one entered my life simply on their own merit and personality. I view relationships with blinders on – blinders to race, creed, color, religion, sexual preference, moral situation, economic status, or any other fact that might prevent someone else from ever taking the opportunity to know them simply for who they are – a human being, and a potential friend. Judgmental attitudes, over time, only serve to make you bitter and uncompassionate for the plights, foibles and hard times experienced by those around you. I'm not saying I'm perfect – FAR FROM IT – but I try to accept people simply for who they are, not for what they do. While everyone will eagerly (for example) take all of the latest quizzes that are posted as links to the [xxxxxxxx] site, thinking nothing of the results that these quizzes return, based upon the answers that each one provides, sometimes their views and comments on similar topics in other areas are in direct conflict to what they were *giggling* about when the quiz results called them "this" or "that." If it is "only-a-quiz," that's one thing; but, if it's someone's real life, that something else entirely??? So, does that make it okay to judge someone else's situation when you don't have all the facts? I'm just trying to understand the difference . . . Originally published Friday May 23, 2003 (bw) 2003 © Copyrighted Materials - All Rights Reserved. Susan Reno-Gilliland A Southern Belle's Life # posted by Kitty : 3:56 PM
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"a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma" --- Miss Kitty, an Irish lass, a true Southern Belle; writer, photographer, artist, interior designer, animal-lover, dreamer, stargazer, cop-groupie, 70's junkie, cbc, slightly obsessive iNFp with stories to tell! ... (fascinated by forensics, human behavior, pushing all the right buttons of men she finds interesting, and seeking utterly-sweet revenge without any repercussions. ) --- "Darlin', don't ever take a Southern woman for granted!" [tm] Feeling the uncontrollable urge to shower me with gifts?!? Check out my Amazon 
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